


=Afraid= -Discontinued

by TheVagabondGod



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, Immortal Fake AH Crew, Other, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-07-26 10:25:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7570573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheVagabondGod/pseuds/TheVagabondGod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had been drowning before they found him.<br/>Constant pressure around him, endlessly gasping for breath.<br/>He had been strong now, but the weight of water forced him to bow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Discovery

= Discovery =  
"We search alone  
For golden crowns  
Cause if we find it we'll have it all to ourselves  
So one by one  
We lay our bricks down  
To pave a road on the shoulders of somebody else  
A sturdy back  
But brittle bones  
Too weak to show"

He's been drowning for a long time, impossibly long.  
Died countless time, only to come spluttering back to life, unable to remove the water from his lungs.  
He alternates between not thinking at all, and remembering his life and how it lead up to this.  
No doubt he should have been more careful, shouldn't have flaunted his immortality.  
Perhaps if people hadn't know he couldn't die, he wouldn't be chained in a box at the bottom of a lake.  
And then, noise?  
He was certainly he hadn't seen nor heard anything in such a long time.  
There was no sound at the bottom of a lake, not that he could have heard, nor no light to see.  
The box swung open, and the water poured out of his prison in a large gush.  
He would have fallen if the chains around his body didn't hold him upright, everything was blurry, he coughed and spluttered, heard a voice but couldn't comprehend what it said.  
He coughed and spluttered some more before his vision went dark.

=====

When he woke up, he felt far too good for this to be real.  
It had to be a dream.  
He was encased in softness, his throat was clear of water.  
Best of all, faint murmurs, people were talking near him.  
He didn't want to open his eyes.  
'Oh, hey, buddy,' the voice sounded friendly even as it invaded his thoughts, 'Are you awake?'  
Is he awake? He almost sighed, he reluctantly opened his eyes, blinking against the harshness of the light.  
A man sat in front of him, tattoos winding up his arms, an impressive mustache.  
He struggled to sit up, realizing now he was in a bed, his eyebrows drew together at the realization they'd removed his clothes.  
The man with the mustache spoke, 'My name is Geoff, we pulled you out the the lake.'  
He absently raised one hand to sign, 'thank you.'  
There was a silent gasp from the other end of the room, where two other men stood.  
'What's your name?' asked Geoff, eyes curious, 'Why were you under the water? How did you stay alive?'  
He stared mutely at Geoff, unsure of how to make it clear that he couldn't speak.  
'You don't speak?'  
He shook his head.  
One of the men by the door came walking over, his gaze looked harsh, his shoulder length hair was tied up in a bun, it was obviously dyed blonde, black roots showing through.  
'My name is Ryan,' the man spoke, 'Do you know sign language?'  
He nods, signs, 'yes.'  
'You're not deaf?' requests Geoff, 'you seem able to hear us.'  
'I'm not deaf,' he signs, Ryan translating immediately.  
'What's your name?' Geoff repeats his earlier question.  
He considers, he's never trusted anyone with his name, only ever used his alias, he provides half of that alias now, 'God.'  
Ryan snorts as he speaks the word out loud, 'you're claiming to be God?'  
Shaking his head, God continues to sign, 'It's part of the name I used, The Vagabond God.'  
The third man now comes over, 'I've heard of that name, he went missing years ago, it was a legend, of a man who ruled Los Santos with death and seemed unable to die, eventually a rival crew captured him and left him at the bottom of a lake.'  
This man also has tattoos, God guesses this is a very angry man, if the creases around his eyes say anything at all.  
'Yes,' signs God, 'that is me.'  
He then frowns down at his blanket covered naked form, 'Where is my hoodie?'  
He had kept that black hoodie for as long as he could remember, it was warm, and he could easily conceal weapons under it.  
It was black and dark grey really, striped, few people ever noticed this due to the little difference between the black and grey.  
'Oh, Michael put it through the dryer, we weren't sure if you'd want to keep it or not,' answers Geoff, indicating to the third man, who hadn't introduced himself.  
Ryan retrieved the now dry hoodie and handed it over, stepping back to allow God some space.  
God tugged the hoodie over his head, noting it no longer had any of his weapons in it, he made a frustrated face at his hair, which had grown out considerably, he guessed it would reach his knees if he were to stand, the very ends were still dyed blonde, a contrast to his raven black hair.  
'We can take you to get your hair cut,' suggested Geoff.  
God shook his head, disliking the way the long hair felt, 'Scissors,' he signed, then glanced at Ryan, 'And blonde dye if you can spare some.'  
He then decided he'd spent enough time lounging around, and tried to stand, frustrated at how his legs seemed to wobble, Geoff caught the shorter male before he hit the ground.  
'It might be a while before you can stand,' noted Michael, 'you were dying for a very long time.'  
God decided not to question this, and allowed himself to be moved into a sitting position on the bed.  
The older male grimaced, 'I'll get you some pants, some of Ray's should fit you.'


	2. Fear

= Fear =  
You're too mean, I don't like you, fuck you anyway  
You make me wanna scream at the top of my lungs  
It hurts but I won't fight you  
You suck anyway  
You make me wanna die, right when I

The crew allowed the strange man to stay with them, entirely interested in his past, and eager to hear his stories.  
Jack assisted as God cut his hair back to a jaggedly uneven jaw length, Ryan helped the shorter man dye the lower half of his hair an almost white blond, while Gavin, Geoff and Ray took him shopping for clothing that wasn't years old.  
Ryan watched the other male with curious eyes.  
He wasn't sure how he had expected the drowned criminal to behave, but he certainly hadn't expected to watch God struggle to use a laptop at 3am.  
It had quickly been obvious that God had no idea how to function in this time period, so used to a world with much less technology.  
The first few weeks, everyone seemed careful around God, unsure of how to interact with the short male.  
They quickly figured out that being under water so long, had not been kind to the man.  
God blatantly avoided water of any kinds, and sometimes they heard soft crying coming from the bathroom whenever the man forced himself to shower, he seemed to slightly shake whenever someone touched him or went to, and was undoubtedly uncomfortable outside.  
Quite often God could be found curled up in a large blanket, he liked to rotate between a few places, such as the ground at Ray's feet while the sniper perched on the couch playing the PlayStation, dark grey eyes peering out from the blanket pile to watch every movement on the screen.  
It was like he wanted to be around people, but also cringed back from them.  
So the crew allowed God to take his time.  
God sat perched at one of the windows, he liked peering down at the traffic below.  
In the distance he could hear sirens, the occasion loud boom.  
He wasn't sure how the crew did so well, stayed so rich, when so many of their heists failed.  
He recalled what had happened the previous week, God had gone on a heist with the men for once, something he seldom did, and at the end, he, Ray and Ryan were the only ones left standing, on a boat, taking the money to safety, when Ryan had looked at Ray and said, 'There doesn't have to be three of us,' pointing the gun at Ray.  
Ray had immediately dove into the water, managing to avoid the bullet coming his way.  
God hadn't moved, remained still, a thin blanket wrapped around his shoulders.  
This group was blood thirsty.  
Sometimes they held games, God didn't like to watch their games.  
Watch as whoever was titled King that week would set tasks for them, where they'd usually die, either from killing each other, or from performing some dangerous stunt.  
He'd watched as Jack shot Gavin in the head to make it to the top of a building first, she had triumphantly waved her hands in the air, then taken a photograph of herself, one hand held up in a peace sign. She hadn't noticed God perched on the railing at the other side of the building.  
He had his ways of getting about the city, the city that was so vastly different to the one he'd seen before being closed deep under the lake.  
In some ways it was comforting to God to know this little crew would always come back, no matter how often they died.  
The world seemed to constantly change, and even the crew changed in ways, they grew older, wiser, or, God presumed they would grow older and wiser, he hadn't yet seen it happen.  
But for now, they were a constant.  
The front door slammed open behind God, causing him to flinch, he didn't turn, rather, watching Michael's reflection in the window.  
'Oh, you're still here,' Michael noted, 'You'd better come with me, we're heading to another safe house for a while, got a lot of heat on us.'  
God nods, grabbing his hoodie from the couch and trailing after Michael as the younger man retrieved stuff from around the apartment.  
A growl escaped Michael as they walked outside to find themselves surrounded by police cars.  
The police of Los Santos never seemed to give up, always determined to catch the Fake Achievement Hunter Crew.  
God stood with his feet apart, but shoulders relaxed, looking the very essence of casual.  
Michael doubted the other man would be any help in getting out of this, he tugged God behind shelter as the police began to shoot, giving no regards to the unfamiliar face.  
As he returned fire, Michael pulled out his phone to call Geoff, unaware of how God was watching him.  
'Uh, yeah, I'm going to need a hand, the police have God and I surrounded.'  
God silently pawed through one of the two large bags Michael had dropped, noting what weapons there were as Michael spoke.  
No bullet proof vests, he had a certain fondness for bullet proof vests, just because he always came back to life, didn't mean he enjoyed being shot.  
With a shrug he picked up the gun that could fire the most bullets in the shortest amount of time and went to duck out from cover.  
A hand caught his wrist.  
God glanced over his shoulder to see Michael, a confused look on the younger males face.  
'What are you doing?' requested Michael.  
'I'm taking care of the problem,' answered God signing, the full crew had made an effort to learn sign language thankfully.  
Michael's face crinkled further, 'By yourself?'  
'I am capable,' assured God, eyebrow raised, 'I've been doing this kind of thing probably longer than you've been alive.'  
'If you say so,' Michael released the other male.  
God immediately strode straight out, the first bullet that hit him knocked him back a step, and was likely fatal, but he didn't need to make it out alive, but these policemen, if they valued their lives, did need to make it out alive.  
He quickly shot down two policemen and took another bullet, the first one had hit his side, the second hit his thigh and he stumbled but managed to shoot a third policeman dead center in the forehead.  
At this the policemen all seemed liked they were reconsidering the idea of trying to take Michael and God into custody, but before they could make another move, Michael came lunging out from behind his cover, a gun in each hand.  
God allowed unconsciousness to take him.

============

God was disgusted when he woke up coated in his own blood, but also vaguely relieved.  
He hadn't much liked the idea of people touching him without his knowledge.  
He left the room he had been deposited in, seeking out a bathroom with a shower to rid himself of the blood.  
Instead of a bathroom, he found the full crew sitting in the living room.  
Ryan's eyes flickered with an emotion God didn't recognize.  
There was silence for several long moments, God stood still in the doorway, wondering who would break it first.  
'Do you often allow yourself to get shot?' it was Geoff who broke the silence, was that concern in the lines of the tattooed mans forehead?  
God shrugged, shoving his hands into blood crusted pockets, 'People don't expect you to not even try to get out of the way of the bullet, getting hit allows you to continue straight at them.'  
At their silence, God continued, 'I do usually wear a bullet proof vest.'  
Jack sighed and stood, turning God around to walk out of the room with a light touch to his shoulder, she linked her arm through his and led him down the hall, 'Let's get you some clothes to wear after your shower.'  
God almost froze, he had been looking for a shower, but fear still vibrated through him at the thought of being surrounded by water.  
Jack quickly found some clothes that she assumed would fit God, they'd be a bit too long and perhaps even a little loose, but it was better than nothing.  
The slender male hadn't thought to grab any of his things on leaving with Michael.  
The female tugged God's hoodie up over his head, 'I'll have to wash this,' she tsked at all the blood on it, already thinking through how she would get it out.  
God looked at the shower, an apprehensive look to his gaze.  
'I can ask one of the guys to sit in here while you shower?' Jack looked concerned.  
With a shake of his head, God declined, 'No, thank you.'


	3. Life

= Life =  
When I wake up I’m afraid, somebody else might take my place  
When I wake up I’m afraid, somebody else might take my place

He was struggling to breath.  
His chest was on fire, his heart racing, he gasped, wishing he could call out, but God trusted no one.  
After several moments of struggling, he allowed himself to sink to the ground, resting on his knees, legs folded under him.  
Was this a heart attack? He had never felt one of those before.  
'God?' a voice invaded his thoughts but he couldn't focus on that.  
The voice came again, then there were arms wrapped around him, pulling him close, instructing him to count with them, to breath.  
He reluctantly followed the others instructions, the pain slowly faded and he soon found he could breath.  
God gazed up at the person who had helped him, Ryan peered back, before helping the shorter male to his feet.  
'Have you ever had a panic attack before?' requested Ryan.  
God shook his head no.  
Ryan led God into the living room, where the full crew was currently lounging around.  
No one commented as Ryan sat and tugged the shorter male down next to him, the short male reluctantly curling against Ryan's side, eyes fluttering shut.  
It had been an awful long time since he'd last slept.  
Sleeping always reminded him of death.

====================

When God woke up, something felt different.  
He scanned the room, gaze stopping on a new addition to the household.  
Ryan stood next to the rather large dog, watching God for a reaction.  
'Do you like dogs?' asked Ryan, noting how God's gaze stayed on the dog.  
God nods but doesn't make any move.  
The dog seems content, big tongue hanging out of it's mouth.  
Ryan seemed pleased with the answer, 'We got him for you, he's trained to help with PTSD, anxiety and other things.'  
God ignored that, 'What's his name?' he signed, curious.  
'We thought you'd want to name him.'  
God stood and walked over to the dog, footsteps deadly silent, he knelt to the dogs height, burying both hands in the dogs fur.  
'Curry,' signed God after a few moments of rubbing the dogs fur.  
Ryan smiled, and walked over to sit on the couch, content to watch God with his new pet.  
God opened his mouth, and to Ryan it almost seemed as if the mute would finally speak.  
But rather, God leaned forward, letting out a breath of air, a small trail of smote leaked free of the males mouth, it found it's way to Curry, the dog didn't look fazed as it breathed in the smoke.  
Ryan was now confused, 'What was that?'  
God glanced over his shoulder, ruffling Curry's fur one more time before turning to sign, 'I gave him immortality, can you not do the same?'  
'Of course I can't, you can give others immortality?'  
Looking confused, God nods but doesn't sign anything.  
Ryan stands, wandering out of the room as he calls out for Geoff, hoping Geoff knew something.  
The tattooed man didn't take long to appear, bear in hand, Jack trailing after him.  
'God just gave the dog immortality,' reported Ryan, watching Geoff's expression carefully.  
But Geoff looked just as baffled as Ryan had, 'Gave the dog immortality, how?'  
The three went into the living room where God still sat with the dog, 'He breathed out this kind of smoke,' explained Ryan, 'then said he had given the dog immortality, he seemed surprised that I couldn't do the same.'  
'Is there anything else you can do?' Geoff asked the mute directly.  
God looked vaguely concerned, 'I can remove people's immortality too, but that's it,' he signed.  
'So that's how we probably got to be immortal ourselves?' questioned Geoff, 'someone like you gave it to us?'  
God nods, wrapping his arms around Curry and leaning against the large dog.  
Jack considers, 'Why can't we give immortality too?'  
The male on the floor doesn't answer, having pressed his face into the dogs fur.  
Ryan seemed a little wary, could they trust someone who could really kill them?

===========

It quickly became clear that they would not be getting God away from Curry ever again.  
The dog didn't seem too bothered by this, content to stay at his humans side at all times.  
'We can't take the dog on a heist,' Geoff complained, they all sat perched around the table in the planning room.  
God scowled but didn't answer.  
Ryan seemed to hesitate, 'Well . . .the dog is immortal.'  
'Doesn't mean we should let it die,' protested Jack, concern showing in her eyes, 'Death still hurts.'  
Gavin agreed with Jack, 'Letting it die in pain would be abuse.'  
God suddenly stood, gesturing for Curry to remain by his seat, the male sauntered over to Geoff, surprising them all.  
Leaning close, grey eyes narrowed as he stared straight into Geoff's eyes.  
Geoff was very obviously uncomfortable, Ryan then seemed to recall something, he lunged to his feet, jumping to shove God away from his boss, 'wait!'  
At that moment, Gavin seemed to recall the same thing, his eyes going wide.  
God hit the wall, eyes widening in shock at Ryan had pushed him, Curry immediately was at God's side, growling.  
'Did you just try to kill Geoff?' demanded Michael, standing and slamming his fists on the table, ignoring the way God flinched.  
'Over a dog?' Gavin sounded confused, but also worried.  
At God's lack of answer, Michael seemed to lose his temper, starting to yell and trying to lunge at the smaller male, protesting when Ryan's arms wrapped around his waist and stopped him.  
Everyone seemed too focused on Michael, as the male continued to try attack.  
God silently panicked, his chest tight, Curry was immediate in trying to assist his master.  
Michael calmed down more quickly than God did, but no one noticed God in the corner.  
'Guess the dog comes then,' sighed Geoff, the he noticed God.  
'Another panic attack,' Ryan looked slightly curious.  
Michael scowled, 'His own fault, he shouldn't have attacked Geoff.'  
They continued planning as Curry tried to sooth his owner.  
They had allowed God to order custom bullet proof vests online, so now the full crew had bullet proof vests and therefore could stand to take a few more risks.  
Geoff smirked as he gazed over his crew, there was no way they could fail now.


	4. Promises

= Promises =  
Cause I'm a fucking mess sometimes  
But still I could always be  
Whatever you wanted  
But not what you needed  
Especially when you been needing me

Over the next few days the crew continued to plan their upcoming heist.  
God actually seemed intent on joining them, his dog too.  
Despite the fact God was clearly warming up to them, everyone remained too wary to allow him too close, fully aware he probably didn't care much in terms of their lives.  
'I got you this,' Ryan randomly appeared before God, the Vagabond seemed to be the most willing to interact with God, the most willing to try include him in their little crew.  
God blinked in confusion at the book being presented to him.  
'A journal,' Ryan clarified, 'I know you've lived a long time, and will probably live a lot longer still, so I thought you might like to write all the important things down, or just day to day things, we can get another if you finish this book.'  
'Thank you,' signed God, taking the journal and running one hand over the smooth cover, Curry sniffed it curiously then nuzzled Ryan, clearly in approval.  
Ryan ruffled Curry's fur before leaving God to settle with this new item.  
In the other room, Geoff seemed both curious and wary, 'Why'd you give him that?'  
'We don't get much of an idea of what he thinks, or what he's been through before he was put under water,' answered Ryan, getting a can of diet cola out of the fridge, 'I figured this might give us a chance at seeing some idea of who he is.'  
Gavin crinkled his nose up from where he was perched on the bench, 'But we know who he is, he's God, he loves animals, is terrified of water, and easily startled by loud noises or people being too close to him, he struggles to handle technology because he's seen so little of it, and he enjoys watching Ray play games regardless, I think his favourite colour is green but I'm not sure,' Gavin shrugs.  
Ryan raises an eyebrow and exchanges a look with Geoff, 'Why green?' of course that isn't the only question on his mind, he's also wondering just how much random information Gavin had been noticing about God.  
'He seems to like green things,' Gavin shrugs, 'So we're going to spy on him using that journal?'  
'I know it's a shitty idea and really invasive, but beyond straight up asking him lots of questions, I don't know how we're supposed to get more information about him,' explains Ryan.  
Geoff doesn't seem to have any issues with this as he pours another drink before following Ryan and Gavin out of the kitchen.  
They find God curled up at Ray's feet, carefully writing in the journal he'd been given.  
Ray seems slightly concerned to have God at his feet, either worried he'd accidentally kick the other male, or just worried in general.  
'Oooh, GTA,' exclaims Gavin, throwing himself onto the couch beside Ray, 'Can I join?'  
'No, Gavin,' it's Geoff who speaks up rather than Ray, 'We need to get going, we do have plans.'  
God's eyes seem to flicker, then he stands, silently leaving the room to prepare himself.  
Ryan immediately picks the journal up, Gavin and Geoff peering over his shoulder to read with him.  
'You're reading his journal? I don't think he'd like that,' Ray frowns.  
'Yeah, I know,' Ryan doesn't seem pleased with what he's doing either, 'We just need more information on him.'  
Ray sighs but doesn't comment as the three continue to read, he doesn't move to read it himself.

"3rd Wednesday February 2010  
I drowned for impossibly long.  
My limbs don't feel like they're my own.  
I still feel like I am bound under water.  
I am still drowning.  
I find it hard to listen sometimes, it seems as if everything is background noise.  
English, understanding it does not come as natural to me anymore.  
Sometimes I can't comprehend a single word being spoken.  
It's hard to believe I have a voice of my own."

Rather than discuss what they read, Gavin snaps a picture of the writing on his phone and they disperse to prepare in their own ways.

 

====================  
God borrows one of Ryan's masks for the heist itself.  
He assures them no one ever saw his face before he was cast down into the water, but they're unwilling to take chances.  
He also leaves for the store with Ryan, clinging to Ryan as the motorbike roars down the street, he knows Gavin, Ray and Michael aren't too far in their own vehicle, they'll be stopping further away from the store, to allow Ray a chance to get into sniping position, and allow Gavin to set up in the car to hack the cameras.  
It's a large store, but they don't imagine they'll encounter any problems, it mostly sells expensive jewelry, and they've planned it so they're hitting the store when it's likely to have the most cash on hand.  
Even so, they can break display cases, take some of the jewelry to sell.  
God is only really here to be an extra hand, he's tasked with gathering jewelry into a large sack while Ryan looks intimidating, keeping customers at gun point.  
It's incredibly noisy as they burst into the store, Curry is at God's heels, having arrived with Michael.  
Geoff is shouting at the employee at the cash register as Jack and God work to collect jewelry, Michael is striding about, guns in both hands.  
'Don't let him hit the alarm button,' Gavin's voice is a low murmur in their ears, 'This should go off without a hitch.'  
None of them bother giving Gavin a response.  
'Sirens,' remarks Ray, 'There's a cop car close by, I guess they heard the commotion.'  
Ryan sighs loudly, 'What have we got?' his voice is gruffer than usual, his effort into sounding different.  
'Enough to leave,' remarks Geoff, snatching the bag of cash up, he signals for the others to follow him.  
Outside the bank they all scatter in different directions, Ryan, God and Curry going one way, they'll be meeting up with Gavin and Ray and leaving with the car Gavin, Ray and Michael arrived in.  
Ray is already perched on the roof of the car when they arrive, they're parked in an alleyway, so God and Ryan have the time to shed the masks and vests, make themselves look more normal and shove everything in the boot of the car.  
Regardless of whether they're being followed or not, they drive in circles around the city for a bit before going to the safe-house they'd arranged to meet at,  
Ray flicks the TV on as he goes, switching it to the news.  
Michael and Jack have clearly had more problems than them as they appear on the news in a large truck being chased by several cop cars, Geoff slams in the front door in time to see this, and immediately has himself perched in front of the TV, not accepting the alcohol offered to him by Ryan.  
None of them really pay attention to whatever God's doing.

 

=================  
'I don't know if we should talk about what we read in God's journal,' notes Geoff, they're all in the room except for God and Ray, Ray refuses to be part of this in anyway, he doesn't believe in invading God's privacy for any reason.  
Jack shrugs, having read the entry from the picture on Gavin's phone, 'it doesn't really tell us anything we don't already know, or anything important, it was obvious that he was still struggling, we just didn't know in what ways.'  
Gavin nods in agreement, 'We should just watch him and learn about him like how we learnt another each other!' he exclaims.  
'What does that bloody mean?' scowls Michael, 'Just wait a few years until we're best pals with him?'  
Gavin frantically shakes his head, 'No, we got to know each other through natural conversation and being around each other, we should include him more in what we get up to.'  
Ryan is silent for a moment, turning this over in his head, it should have been obvious, even if they weren't interested in God himself, it's to their advantage to have someone on their team who can give out immortality, it gives them the chance to add new people to their crew, people who hadn't even been an option previously.  
Because obviously they couldn't add people to their crew if they'd just die.


	5. Lonely

= Lonely =  
And you keep telling me,  
telling me that you'll be sweet.  
And you never wanna leave my side  
As long as I don't break these...

Promises, and they still feel all so wasted on myself.

"5th Friday February 2010  
Sometimes it's hard to think.  
I'm so used to just not being here.  
Sometimes I start to wonder if I can take away my own immortality.  
Wouldn't a final death be peaceful?  
I find I'm being watched a lot, mostly by Ryan and Geoff, they seem wary of me.  
Often I wonder how they got their immortality, they could have been born with it, like me, but I find it unlikely, because when I give immortality, those I gift it to cannot pass it on themselves.  
It makes me assume only those born with it can gift it, which makes me assume all born with it can gift it.  
None of this crew seem to think they can gift it.  
My limbs feel heavy.  
I only sleep when I die."

===========  
They were forced into inactivity for the next few days, the city on high alert, waiting for the Fakes to make another move.  
Gavin took to his masks, wearing his golden glasses indoors, and wearing big wide smiles.  
He was no fool despite all appearances.  
There was something about his golden glasses that made him feel stronger, and more able to read the people around him.  
He noted God's total lack of positive emotions, the shorter male only ever seeming bored or downright miserable.  
When he came across God's second journal entry, he felt cold, and took to encouraging God to hang around him.  
God was passive enough that he often followed any suggestion that Gavin offered up.  
Currently God sat perched gazing out the windows, he seemed to enjoy being up high, gazing out over the city.  
A few times one of the crew had caught God about to pitch himself off the top of a building and barely managed to stop him.

Gavin stood and gestured for God to follow him, 'I want to go buy some snacks,' he informed the members of the crew who were currently lounging around, he was sure Jack and Geoff were currently out on a meeting.  
'I'll come with,' Ryan sighs, pulling himself to his feet, he's not sure which of the two he doesn't trust, he's either expecting Gavin to do something stupid, or expecting God to wander out in front of traffic.  
Ray seems mildly interested but he doesn't move, rather focused on the game he's in.  
The three leave the building together, Curry at their heels as always.  
As always, God mutely observes their surroundings, Ryan is tempted to reach out and grasp the other's arm, unsure what the shorter male is thinking.  
They enter a convenience store and Gavin immediately makes a beeline towards the junk food while Ryan wanders over to the drink fridges.  
As far as he could tell, God also seemed to like diet coke, but then, the half blonde male didn't seem to like much, and was often intent on avoiding food all-together.  
God himself wandered over to where some pens were, observing each packet with dull interest.  
It took them a full ten minutes before Gavin was marching up to the counter and slamming a broad array of snacks down, Ryan contributing two larges boxes of diet cola.  
God takes a couple of bags, content to assist.  
The three are silent as they head back to where Ray is no doubt waiting.  
They find Jack and Geoff have returned, Jack watches with warm eyes as God dumps his bags on the kitchen counter.  
'Hope you didn't need anything in particular,' notes Ryan, opening one of the boxes of diet coke, passing a can to God as he speaks, 'Cause we probably didn't get it.'  
Faintly, God can hear the general roar of the city, he wanders over to the large window, cracking open the can and taking a long drink of it.  
'We did get lots of junk,' exclaims Gavin brightly, chucking a packet of gummy bears at Ray's head.  
'Oi,' complains Ray faintly, he pauses his game to open the packet and shove a fistful into his face.  
Michael enters the room and immediately heads for the backs, interested in whatever Gavin has bought.  
God quietly sits leaning against the window, journal on his lap.

 

=======================  
When Gavin wakes up, he notices immediately that God isn't around, God had slept in his room that night, after Gavin had suggested it.  
The Brit liked having the other male nearby.  
He frowned and left his room, hoping he'd find God in the apartment still.  
To his dismay, he instead finds a note, simply reading,  
"Gone to an art store, won't be long - The Vagabond God"

 

God wakes up blindfolded.


	6. Chapter 6

=Hurt=  
You don't know how to let go  
Who said this must be all or nothing?  
But I'm still caught below  
And I'll never let you know  
No I can't tell you nothing

"6th Thursday February 2010  
Perhaps I'm putting too much thought into it.  
Perhaps I'm suffering of my own accord.  
All I am is a pit of sorrow for myself."

God is blindfolded, he can hear the kidnappers in the slight distance, but is unable to completely make out what they are saying.  
He hears slight phrases such as, 'Figure out,' and, 'when is.'  
He shuffles around, getting a feel of the cement underneath him, his arms are bound with what feels like tape.  
Attempting to kick to no avail, God figures his legs are bound with something like a thin rope.  
He hears the footsteps of the kidnappers approaching.  
They begin to speak, first a deep voice, 'This is a message for your little crew, a message that we can get through anything they throw at us.'  
A woman speaks next, 'Put him on the table.'  
God struggles but quickly stops when he notices it isn't worth the effort.  
'You're so annoying,' complains the man.  
He can't help but resist more as restraints are being wrapped over him on the table.  
The woman walks up, her heels loud against the cement of the ground, 'Now, now, we're not done with you yet,' she coos to God as if he's a child.  
She removes the blindfold.  
The man speaks, 'We should hurry, this place is crawling with cops.'  
'I know what I'm doing, Clancy, don't rush me,' the woman's voice is painfully loud.  
The man sighs but pulls up a squeaky cart.  
God stares blankly up at the woman, quietly angered but unwilling to show any emotion.  
'You can get out of this,' notes the man to God, 'Just give us something to go on, the location of a safe house. anything.'  
God stares back, he almost smiles, but schools his face to remain entirely blank.  
'I guess we have our answer then,' purrs the woman, the man smiles at her, then extends the smile to God.  
He rustles around the cart, seemingly unable to decide on what to grab, the woman strides around the cart, and hands him an object, giving him a scalding glare.  
The man shows off the instrument, similar to a corkscrew, but less 'spinny,' and longer.  
He quickly but forcefully swipes the instrument down God's left thigh, leaving a large gash.  
God's eyes flicker, but other than that, he doesn't react.  
The man seems slightly confused, he thrusts the instrument into God's thigh, at least two inches deep, this at least forces a gasp out of God.  
Blood spurts out.  
The man glances up at the woman much to her displeasure, 'Don't look at me, fucker, go ahead.'  
With a shrug, the man cuts across God's stomach, deep.  
He moves out of God's sight, and returns with what seems to be a brand, but rather than use it as a brand, he simply presses it to the gash, using the extreme heat to close the wound, before harshly yanking the instrument out of God's thigh and using the brand on that wound also.  
The smell of burning flesh forces the woman to gag, turning away from the source.  
God's eyelashes flutter as he begins to fade out of consciousness.  
The man twirls the knife in one hand, before stabbing it through the back of God's hand.  
God flinches at the sudden pain, he wants to cringe back but is held too securely in place.  
'This isn't enough,' notes the woman, she had turned back, and is watching God, her gaze emotionless, 'We need him broken.'  
The man nods in agreement and examines his tools once again, he still holds the brand in one hand, but he almost seems to have forgotten that he's holding it.  
God lays motionless, barely conscious.  
The woman leans over him and slaps the side of his face repeatedly to get his attention, looking straight into his eyes, 'I want you to feel all of this,' her voice is harsh compared to when he first heard her voice. Almost as if this is affecting her.  
'The whip?' ponders the man, he's returned the brand to wherever he retrieved it from.  
The woman hums in agreement, 'Finally you come up with a good idea, Clancy.'  
They undo the bindings holding God down, the man throws one end of the rope over the beams in the ceiling above, working quick to tie it firm, using it to hang God up by his wrists, he leans real close to God, whispering, 'They say you're called The Vagabond God, I say all God's must fall.'  
The man chuckles as he moves to stand behind God, the strung up male flinches with each crack of the whip.  
'It's a shame you can't talk,' says the woman, her voice husky, her face is all God can see as she leans in close.  
'Count them,' the man remarks to the woman.  
She nods, her face still directly in front of God's, she counts each crack, her voice slow and careful.  
"One.'  
*Crack.*  
'Two.'  
*Crack.*  
They make it up to twenty before the man retrieves the brand to seal the wounds closed, God whimpers at the feeling of his skin burning.  
'Grab a tarp,' instructs the man untying God.  
The pair work together to wrap the short male in the plastic sheet.  
They switch off the camera that had been recording from the corner of the room and decide to leave it there.  
God fades out of consciousness.

 

===================  
When God awakens, he's extremely aware of the burns, aware of how his wrists ache from the ropes that had been digging into them.  
He immediately panics, realizing he is submerged in water, he flails about, wanting to scream but unable, he can feel water in his lungs, tears leak out of his eyes just to blend with the water.  
Will he be here for years again? The thought almost makes him vomit.  
He almost prays, before he remembers he doesn't believe in any God.  
The Crew, they had to know he was gone right? They had to, they had to, they had to, they had to, the words blend together in God's mind.  
All he can feel is panic.  
Over and over.  
He dies. And dies. And dies all over again.  
He's aware the burns remain no matter how often he dies, and he's in awe of how little they seem to matter in face of all the crushing water around him.  
Each time he awakens, he struggles more and more, until the tarp comes loose, and he's somehow able to orientate himself to see the light of the surface of the water.  
God struggles to swim, fighting both his panic and the water around him.  
He reaches the surface with a gasp, dragging himself out of the water.  
Glancing around, he can't recognize where he is.  
He's lost.  
He desperately wants to just shoot himself in the head.  
His lungs still burn, and God crumples to the ground again just to puke up water.


End file.
